


never thought I would say I'm hopeless without you

by aleclightwoodisgay



Series: fic prompts [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e13 Morning Star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 11:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleclightwoodisgay/pseuds/aleclightwoodisgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus reflects on his developing relationship with Alec while the search for Jace and Valentine continues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never thought I would say I'm hopeless without you

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to crosspost our fic prompts on ao3 because why not.
> 
> A fill for the prompt "please write a post-morning star ficlet or something".

Magnus feels out of his depth. His life has been a rollercoaster for the past few weeks, and the ride has left him disoriented and reeling. Ups and downs faster than he has experienced in decades; meeting Alec and getting infatuated with him, almost losing him before they could even become anything, their first kiss on the church isle. Now, he fears his new-found happiness will slip between his fingers like sand.

Despite the cheerful image Magnus puts out, despite how much shadowhunters think he and his kind don’t have feelings, it has been rough on him. All the warlocks under his protection that Valentine slaughtered, foolhardy and brave Dot, his dear Ragnor; all gone. Magnus knows loss, knows it better than many, yet he struggles to find the words to comfort Alec.

Jace is gone, yet he isn’t. Acting like Jace is already as good as dead would only anger Alec, yet giving him false hope doesn’t feel right to Magnus either. He knows Valentine, knows the destruction his hatred and persuasion can wreak. Magnus does not doubt Alec’s parabatai’s bravery, but Valentine has poisoned the minds of many great people with his words before.

At a loss for words, Magnus dedicates his energy to action. Not just for Alec, even though he is precious to Magnus; for his people, for all the innocent downworlders facing danger at the hands of Valentine and his prejudice. No more warlock blood will be spilled if Magnus has any say in the matter. His work gives him purpose when the future seems bleak, what with the Clave’s past mistakes coming back to bite them all in the ass.

It’s not all hopelessness and worry, though. Despite everything, Magnus still sees Alec regularly, nearly every day unless they are both busy with work. They draw comfort from each other, from the fragile yet hopeful something blooming between them. With things strained between Alec and his parents, he often comes to spend time at Magnus’ loft, curling up in an armchair to read a book if Magnus is busy with his business.

Their first official date has been postponed until indefinitely due to war and mayhem looming over them, but Magnus still counts eating take-out together on the couch while cuddling as more than just hanging out. As they agreed on, they’re still taking it slow, but that hasn’t stopped them from exchanging kisses ranging from light pecks to long make-out sessions.

Despite being inexperienced, Alec is eager and is often the one to initiate physical contact between them. Magnus supposes, with sadness and bitterness directed at the Clave, that denying yourself for so long will leave you touch-starved and full of pent-up feelings. It’s still wonderful how Alec kisses him with such passion and fervor, how he loves to simply hold Magnus and be near to him.

Alec is – understandably – stressed and distraught, which shows in the slump of his shoulders and the tight look on his face. Yet Magnus feels a sense of achievement every time the haunted look in his eyes lightens from time to time thanks to Magnus. Sometimes he will kiss Alec on the cheek for no particular reason, or run a hand up his back or arm for comfort, and Alec will give him one of those crooked little smiles that send Magnus’ insides fluttering.

The others help too, of course. Isabelle and Alec have grown even closer, and they have Clary and Simon as new additions to their group. Magnus would never and doesn’t want to think he’s the only important person in Alec’s life, just like Alec isn’t the only important one in his. Still, it’s a special kind of pleasure to have private moments for themselves, pockets of time when they get to ignore everything falling apart around them in favor of focusing on their relationship.

Without everything else standing in their way, Magnus could truly say he is happy. Alec makes him feel things, with such an intensity it nearly hurts. Magnus has never put much stock on quixotic notions like soul mates, or souls for the matter, yet his dear Alexander makes him at least wish he could believe in such things.

As long as Alec will have him, Magnus is more than content to devote himself to their relationship. Even if it doesn’t last, even if his immortality comes in the way, Magnus would rather have Alec at least for a short while than not at all. If there is something Magnus has learned from his long life, it’s that one should never take happiness for granted. The past has not always been kind to him, but Magnus will rather focus on what is in front of him; his future is with Alec, and Magnus is going to embrace every second of it.


End file.
